Breaking my Silence

***

Tuesday, May 1^st

Did I mention in THIS post why Ryan was in Joliet? THIS may be a good clue.

Caterpillar trains their non-union employees as contingency workers in case a union doesn't ratify their new contract. And that happened last night. They all walked out at midnight, and Ryan took his spot at 12:20am.

Monday was going rather peacefully - a typical day for our little family. Then HR called Ry at 2pm while he was at his REAL job, he was home by 2:30pm, packed a bag and booked a hotel, and he was gone by 4:30pm.

Yep. And we have NO IDEA when he'll return.

He will be working 12-hour shifts (11pm-11am), 7 days per week (That's every Saturday and Sunday) for at most (fingers crossed) six weeks. After a six-week strike, Caterpillar claims they'll bring in an outside company to cover the factory jobs and lets their educated work-force return to the positions they've been hired and educated for.

Will he be home tomorrow? Maybe. Will he be home the middle of June? Maybe.

I hate that we didn't have any warning. We had plans for this week, not the least of which was getting our lawn mowed. I do not handle unscheduled events well. I've done a lot of crying. We are in survival mode around here.

I think what I hate most is that we can't go visit him, and he can't come home for a visit. When he departed, we thought he'd be doing 8-hour shifts (11pm-7am), 5 days per week. We thought I could bring the kids for the weekend like last time. Now he's just their slave - a pawn in their stupid negotiations game.

Bye-bye finished basement.

Bye-bye elder's quorum president.

Bye-bye my 5k training.

Bye-bye Daddy.

* * *

Wednesday, May 30th

And he's still gone. He's had just 3 days off all month - After 14 days, Cat did give him Mother's Day off, and we headed to Joliet to see our MIA Dad. After another 14 days, Cat gave him Memorial Day off, and he was able to come home for the first time in a month.

And so it goes. Today the Union rejected an new offer from Cat. It seems our Dad may never move back in.

Cat's "6-week and your home" promise is impossible. The company they planned on getting workers from to replace fill-ins is just a temp agency for unemployed street thugs who can't pass a drug test. They've hired 3 guys so far from them. Three.

We've missed a month of family activities, and Ryan has missed spring. We missed our 5k. Collin will miss his fishing derby this weekend since it's a mandatory weekend again for Ryan. We have a family reunion we've already purchased air tickets for over the 4th of July. Say goodbye to that too. Our permit for the basement expires next week. We'll have to buy a new one. We've had to hire the young men from church to do our lawn too. And so the money keeps getting flushed...

But it is more than the money. We want our dad back. We want our lives back. Ryan is miserable and lonely. Sleeping when the sun is up and working all night will do that to you. And of course twelve hours on your feet doesn't help either. The boys are acting out terribly. They miss their dad but can't verbalize it, and so they just fight with me and each other all the time. I'm lonely and cry all the time (like right now...). We're all so tired and frustrated.

We miss you, Dad. We just want you home. Give us our dad back. Is that too much to ask?

A Marathon of Miracles

He said. She said.

Yep, you read that title right. RYAN DID A MARATHON! And he did awesome, and words cannot express how proud I am of him and how good he did and how totally cool he is and how in love I am with him. Yeah, I just said that. He's amazing, and he's all mine!

So someone else who is amazing is our friend Munah. I started visit teaching her when she was a 17-year-old freshman here at Bradley. I was 7-months pregnant with Collin, and she's been our friend ever since. The boys loves her.

Anyway, she babysits for us sometimes, and she said yes when I asked her to come stay Friday evening through Saturday evening at our place so I could go and cheer for Ryan. That's right, she kept my kids for almost 24-hours so I could be a cheerleader, and so she's is also SUPER AMAZING!

* * *

Alright, now for some information about the actual marathon.

So Ryan left work about 3pm on Friday (Miracle #1), and he and I got on the road to Champaign about 4:30pm. The forecast was for rain and wind, and we said numerous prayers for the wind to calm down and the rain to pause for the four hours of his race.

We got his bib picked up and race tag checked about 7pm, and then we headed to dinner. We were starving and Olive Garden (carb loading) had a 45-minute wait, so we got on the road again to go to our hotel 45 minutes away. There were seriously no towns until we got to the hole of Danville, IL (last stop before Indiana), and after much GPS-searching, we ended up at... wait for it - Big Boy. Sad - central. Anyway, it was already 8:30, so we ate quick.

When we finally got to our hotel at 9pm, Travelocity had messed up our reservation and put us in a smoking room (if you know me, this is the END OF THE WORLD), but (Miracle #2) someone had canceled and we got their non-smoking room. Thank goodness.

We were directly across the hall from the pool & spa, so we headed down (it was 9:15) for a quick soak. We finally got into bed at 10:30pm.

Setting the alarm before going to bed, I kept thinking about that Seinfeld episode where Jerry is supposed to wake up the African guy for his marathon but they all sleep in. It was funny on the show, but it definitely wouldn't be funny in real life.

I'm sure it's no surprise to you that 4:30am came all too quickly. We got up (Miracle #3) and dressed in layer upon layer and checked out. The hotel made a special exception for "the marathon-ers" and had breakfast all out and ready to go at 5am. (Yes, that does mean that the hotel that far away was filled with other runners.)

We got back in the car for the haul back to Champaign. It poured rain the whole way there. More prayers for the elements to be tempered.

We arrived about 6:15, just as the rain turned to a sprinkle (Miracle #4). The wind was still pretty vicious, but we used the restroom, and Ryan de-layered. I added each of his layers to my own (ha ha), and we headed to the start line.

By this time I was getting super excited for him.

I actually was starting to feel a little anxious. I don't know the last time I was nervous, but this was it.
Thankfully, I wasn't cold except for my thumb holding my water-bottle (ha ha). The rain had completely ended (Miracle # 5).


The start was grouped into corrals by estimated finish time. Ryan was in Corral D, but he stood toward the front since his training had caused him to feel more confident he could finished between 3-1/2 to 4 hours.

Mile 0

At 6:45am, someone sang the national anthem, and Ryan headed to the middle of his corral. I waited for the start gun, but it was just a lame voice saying, "Ready, Set, Go" for each corral in turn.

After he started, I headed back to the truck and grabbed my bike. I was a little turned around at first and headed the wrong direction, and by the time I got to our first rendevouz point (Mile 5), I realized I had missed him.

Devastated, I rushed to get to another spot so he knew I hadn't forgotten about him. Here's the first time I saw him at almost Mile 11.

Mile 11

He was all chipper and doing awesome.

As soon as he passed, I hopped back on the bike and headed to Mile 13. I'm not much of a map-reader, and I accidentally went to the home-stretch for the half-marathoners instead of one block up where the full-marathoners turned off, and I missed him again. Oops.

Frustrated, I started off again to Mile 19. This was the longest bike for me, and it was uphill and windy, and I prayed for Ryan the whole way. I waited forever for him. Here he is just before Mile 19.

Mile 19

When I asked how he was doing, he replied, "I feel great," and it sounded like he really meant it.

At Mile 23, he looked tired for the first time.

Mile 23

He even stuck out his tongue in exhaustion, but I missed that part on the camera. This is when I started to worry.

At Mile 20, I hit a wall. I needed to use the restroom, but I was afraid if I stopped I wouldn't be able to get started again. So I stopped drinking and pushed on. This was my biggest mistake. In hindsight, I wish I had stopped to use the restroom and kept drinking. I had been on pace for a 3 hr 35 min finish time, but at Mile 20 my pace was almost a 10-minute mile!

I met up with him again at Mile 25 1/2, and he was looking good.

Mile 25

At Mile 23, I finally stopped to use the restroom. I was probably only stopped for 30 seconds, but it made all the difference. I felt awesome, though tired, again.

By this point, I was feeling confident enough to bike along his side (no cops had yelled at me yet), and I rode along with him until the last few hundred yards.

The race ended at the 50-yard line of the football stadium, and I couldn't go on the field. I was sad I missed his finish.

Having Linds biking along with me the last mile or so was more helpful than her cheering in the stadium. I needed more motivation... and there she was! Thanks Babe!

I rode back to the car, locked the bike in the bed, and walked back to the stadium. I couldn't find him for the longest time, and by the time I did, he was a frozen popsicle.

He stripped off his wet clothes and took all my extra layers, and we headed out of the stands and into the sheltered area to try to block the wind. After some food, we headed out of the stadium.

Literally as we stepped out of the stadium, the first rain drops started to fall (Miracle #6). It rained on the drive back to Peoria.

The boys were good for Munah (Miracle #7), Ryan made his goal time (Miracle #8), I was able to cheer him on, and it was totally awesome.

I finished in 3 hours 44 minutes which put me in the Top 25% for my age-group. I was pleased, but I still wonder how I would have fared if I'd stopped at Mile 20 when I first had to use the restroom. I think I got pretty dehydrated when I quit drinking in the effort to save my bladder. I bet I could have done an even 3-1/2 hours...

I'm already getting a group of guys together to do it next year.