Question: Is Valentine's Day an all-inclusive holiday for your mother, father, siblings, children, their classmates, and their teachers?
Wikipedia: "Saint Valentine's Day (commonly shortened to Valentine's Day) is an annual holiday held on February 14 celebrating love and affection between intimate companions. The holiday is named after one or more early Christian martyrs named Valentine and was established by Pope Gelasius I in AD 496. It is traditionally a day on which lovers express their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery, and sending greeting cards (known as "valentines"). The holiday first became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished" (italicized added).
Answer: No. Valentine's Day celebrates love between "intimate companions."
When my mother-in-law's first question (Love you, Lori - even though you didn't get a valentine...) last week during our Weekly Sunday Evening Webcam Session was, "What did Collin get?" I was shocked. I didn't think that's what Valentine's Day was about. I asked, "Was I supposed to get him something?"
This question prompted some research on my part. Maybe I was the one who was wrong. Fortunately for me, if Valentine's Day is celebrated between "intimate companions," Collin doesn't fit the bill. Don't get me wrong; I love Collin dearly. But he did not receive a card on Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day is meant from my husband and I, not for our one-year old son. He has his birthday and Christmas, and he'll have Valentine's Day in 25 years or so.
In truth, Valentine's Day is really about commercialism. We've been told by the media that if we care about someone we have to spend money (cards, flowers, candies, dinner, etc.) on them on February 14th. I think it is sad that if we're told something over and over again, we start to buy into it (pun intended).
Am I a big fan of Valentine's Day? Heck no. Never have been. As a child, Valentine's Day presented a multitude of problems. You remember the angst of choosing which card seemed the most innocent in the packaged box to give to that stupid boy who'd been bothering you all year. You wanted to be nice, but not too nice. Then there was the equal anguish of picking the card to give to the boy you did like, but that you didn't want to know that you liked him. Of course, there was also the stress surrounding the "readings." Did he mean that? Why do I only have 21 cards in my little heart- and aluminum foil-covered shoebox? Did Casey skip me?!
Wikipedia: "The U.S. Greeting Card Association estimates that approximately 190 million valentines are sent each year in the US. Half of those valentines are given to family members other than husband or wife, usually to children. When you include the valentine-exchange cards made in school activities the figure goes up to 1 billion, and teachers become the people receiving the most valentines."
Aww, yes, and then there's Valentine's Day as a teacher. Ten- and twelve-year olds are awkward anyways, but on Valentine's Day it was worse. Girls were crying in the bathroom about what he said at recess, and boys were freaking out at recess about the "card" (also known as a small piece of cardstock with a pre-printed, impersonal To and From) she gave him in his bag. Sigh. The first school that I taught at had it right: they banned valentine exchanges because of all the heartache and hassle it caused. Looks like St. Valentine would agree. He's probably rolling over in his grave about how far this has all gone. But, as our society has proven, the advertisers have successfully gotten us all to spend excessive amounts of money on greeting cards and the like for people like our children, their classmates and their teachers.
Was it nice to get a babysitter and an excuse to go on a date with my husband? Absolutely. Do I care that you did something for everyone you love on Valentine's Day? No. Go for it. It's your money. But please don't expect me to do something for my kid on a holiday meant for my spouse.
The End (to my rant).
4 comments:
Lindsey, this is so funny because I had nearly the same post, and several variations, written in my head for V'tine's day. I even looked it up on Wikipedia, and thought about posting the definition. Perhaps you saw, in the end, my decision as to what to do for the Valentine's post...A simple, strange little poem. I couldn't really decide what I wanted to say. I figure if people want to get their kids gifts for Valentine's Day, go ahead, but if you're asking my opinion, I think it's silly. I have a thing against obligatory gifts anyway. I have been known to give them a card, or make a fun breakfast or something, but that's as far as it goes. And this year? I did nothing. In my opinion for kids, it's just a day to restock on the candy that has run out from Christmas that had run out from Halloween....Thanks for the laugh, and helping me feel like I'm not alone : ).
I'm laughing because I am the complete opposite. Jared and I don't treat valentine's day as anything that special. We didn't get each other presents or go on a date or even write cards. We did make a special dinner together though. I don't like being told that I have to use this day to say I love you to him.
BUT we did make cards for the kids and my mom always sends a valentines package with chocolate and a little something for the kids. I think Valentine's Day is fun for kids.
Jared and I keep our lovey-dovey stuff for our anniversary and birthdays and well, any day. I would rather get flowers on just an ordinary day than on Valentine's Day when they are ridiculously overpriced.
I like it being an all-inclusive holiday in that you can show love to anyone, not just your intimate partner. (which is why i think it's lame-o when people who don't have an intimate partner are sad at v-day. Boo) In fact, i'd probably rather do that. But i agree, getting a valentine's gift just to get a gift is pretty lame. I'm much more into the homemade valentine route, for I do love them. And i loved V-day as a kid! Homemade boxes? the careful selection to the kid you liked? Totally reading way more into valentines from the kid you liked? Yes please. :)
I think this is the first year that my husband and I have actually (sort of) celebrated Valentine's Day.
"Here's that new Camelbak waterbottle you wanted," I said, a good ten days before Valentine's. "Happy Valentine's Day."
Two weeks after V-day, he remarked, "Oh, I ordered your Valentine's Day present today--it's an ice-cream maker."
So yeah--it's really not that big a deal to me. I just see it as yet another commercialism thing, but also as a nice reminder to buy something that my husband would actually want and use, just because I love him and like making him happy for no reason. Not that something has to be purchased to say that, but there's always something little on the wish list of purchasables.
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