Playing Pretend

Collin likes to play pretend - all the time.

Currently he's napping and I'm not allowed to clean up his spaceship built in Daddy's chair - It is a piece of plexi-glass (the board for his trains) leaned against the chair with toys behind and in front of it. The potato masher, wire whisk and flashlight? He was in the middle of an intense building project when mean ol' Mom said it was nap time.

Saturday was filled with harvesting corn (pillows) in the corn tractor (couch) and shooting it out into the dump truck (the rocking chair). Daddy drove the "harvester," "pushing the button" and hurling pillows across the room to Collin, who sat in the "dump truck" collected the "corn."

Yeah, this is our life nowadays. Oh, and don't think we fuel this: It really is all his own creation. Is playing pretend fun? Oh yeah. Do I love seeing his imagination run wild? Definitely.

* * *


Now here's where it gets crazy. Collin has pretend friends. I know you've heard of kids having an imaginary friend, but he has an imaginary family.

Meet Bucco. Born last Winter. When asked what he looks like, Collin says, "He looks like me." I'm assuming that means his 3-ish years old too and maybe a twin. Bucco is usually sleepy, and almost always "needs to take a little nap."

Meet Pawna. Appeared in September. Pawna is Bucco's friend. They play at each other's houses. Sometimes Pawna isn't allowed to come over. He is always hungry, and Collin usually saves some of his meal for him.

Meet Honcho. Appeared about a week ago. She is Bucco's mommy. Sometimes she puts Bucco and Pawna in time-out. I can't imagine why...

Meet Michael. Appeared last Thursday. Michael is Bucco's baby sister. Yes, sister. (This name actually has a source - Collin's baby BROTHER's middle name is Michael, and he knows that. Apparentally all babies are named Michael?)

And there's the short run-down of the extra family we have running around our home each day.

* * *

Last winter (when Bucco appeared) I read a study that said that your child may be exceptionally gifted if - among other things - they have an imaginary friend. I wonder what they would say about having FOUR?

I guess all this imaginary stuff would really make me feel fine about my little genius... if he had good relationships with REAL people. Heck, forget the good part - I'd feel fine if he had ANY relationship with a child his own age.

Unfortunately, Collin is completely opposed to playing with other kids his age. He loves teenagers (Ryan's scouts, his babysitter, etc.), older children (ages 7-10; usually the older siblings of kids his age), and adults (particularly our good friends Richard and Avalon), but no one his own age (like those in his preschool or nursery class).

At preschool, he plays by himself or with the mom who is teaching that day. I'm assuming it's the same in nursery. He has to be coerced to run, jump, or do any other active kid-like things. He'd prefer to play all day by himself than with any other child in his nursery class. He most wants to play with older people.

* * * 

And this is when I exploded... Last Tuesday was Preschool Field Day. Our preschool (for three-year-olds) combined with the older group of kids (4-5 year olds) for this activity. The moms were supposed to drop off their kids and return 90 minutes later. They were supposed to play games in the field across the street from the home I dropped him off.

And he freaked. He wouldn't let me leave. He pitched a fit. He got super nervous. He started crying. He wouldn't play the games. He hung on my pant-leg the whole time. He didn't have any fun. He was a wreck. He was afraid of all the other kids. It was a mess. (To his credit, the other kids from the younger class were shy-er and more reserved than usual too, but nothing like the antics Collin exhibited.)

And what was the first thing he said to me when we got home? "Mommy, Bucco wants to play in the tv room. Pawna is coming over, and they are going to play corn tractor."

Sigh. Why can't he form a single relationship with a real-life kid, but can easily create numerous best-pretend-friends?!

 * * *



Why is he such a loner in public?  Is he destined to always be a loner? Is he going to be that kid talking to himself over on the swings at recess? Is he ever going to make a real friend? If I had more kids over for him to play with when he was younger, would be be "normal?" Should he be attending social-therapy to learn how to play?

Or am I totally over-reacting? Are many oldest siblings like this? Is he just more accustomed to being with adults, like his mom and dad? Is this a stage he will grow out of as he gets older?